I Wish...

That I could lock the door.

Once and for all.

On You.

Done...

It really is Done.

Because I'll Never trust you again.

Remember This...

You're the one who's leaving me.

Time To Go...

You won't miss me.

That's how I know it's time to go.

Quick Enough...

He couldn't get out of here.

Quick enough.

The Last Ten Years...

The last ten years...

Have been debilatating.

Two Fuckheads...

We aren't some Entity...

We are just Two Fuckheads.

Who fuck.

At Least...

My character has never been up before a Judge.

Too Far Gone...

This time I think We're too far gone.

The Impossible Dream...

I don't want a fuck.

I want him to fall in love with me again.

News Flash...

This time I'm not going to expect a fucking thing.

Thin...

What's keeping Me thin?

Junk.

To Coin A Word...

If something is Googleable it must somehow exist.

Lucridty; the demonstrating of ludicrous behaviour.

As in; the Lucridity of Twink.

That's All Folks...

Enough's Enough, People...

I'm outta here.

You've Just Lost...

Keep sticking up for Her...

You've just lost. Your Wife. And Kids.

I Can...

I Can do this alone.

I'll just have to get used to it.

Fast.

My Poem...

For the first time ever you get no say.

Fuck you and your silent way.

Liar...

Lie in someone else's bed.

Revenge...

I fucking begged you to stay last night.

And you walked away.

Said you needed space.

Revenge. It's going to be fucking sweet.

The Town Bike...

What did You think was gonna happen?

Did you expect me to be friends with Her again?

Affairs Of The Heart...

It's Not just sex...

It can also be Betrayal.

Unforgiven...

Just because you've forgiven Yourself doesn't mean I will.

My Side...

I tell My side of the story.

Casualty Of Love...

The first casualty of (war)love is lies (truth).

Fuckable...

Fuckable...

...but Unlikeable.

Slogans Heroes..

I wanna know.

Who writes the slogans?

Not Hot...

I may not be hot...

But I'm still one of the most interesting people I've ever met.

Here Without You...

He only likes Me when...

...He's off his head.

Evil Bitch...

I am an evil bitch.

When I want to be.

Fucked Up...

Maybe I am fucked up...

...but I'd still rather be Me than You.

Negative Positive...

Because its Not a positive if you are doing it with anyone but Me.

Lest Ye Be Judged...

Judge me as the person I am today.

On Cheating...

Only cheat.

For a reason.

Telemarketer...

I got jealous.

Over a telemarketer.

She was a Skank. And for a moment I hated her.

And I don't hate Anyone.

???...

What do you call a redundant housewife?

Me...

Only one person is going to get me through this.

Me.

Wake Up Call...

It took you telling Me that you hated me for me to wake up to Myself.

Fair And Reasonable...

Do you want to be fair and reasonable about this?

Or do you want to make it as difficult as possible?

Just Ask...

I'll always be here for You.

You only have to ask.

The Only One...

I'm the only one I have to please.

Family...

You had a Family, hubby.

And you threw it away.

When It Was Good...

I'm missing what we had.

When it was Good.

No Sympathy

No Sympathy please.

I'll have Ecstasy.

Can't Say...

You can't say I didn't try.

How Long He Changes For...

Three Days.

Tops.

Mothers V Wives...

Who needs a mother when you've got a Wife?

Someday...

I said you could come back Someday...

But you rocked up on Sunday.

Too Selfish For That...

I don't believe you cried about Me.

It must have been the wrong guy.

You are too selfish for That.

And you just Proved it.

RIP Bernie Banton...

Rest in Peace Bernie.

Your tireless efforts for patients suffering from Asbestos related diseases will never be forgotten.

You died in vain.

But you are a Hero.

An Update...

There was a story, child rapist behind bars, (our former neighbor’s son), was given 18 years in jail for his trouble, will be eligible for parole in 2020. Pity the poor girls. Plus his family.

Spice Girl...

Wanna be my Rebound Fuck?

The Simple Life...

As long as I don't have to drive You anywhere in the morning...

My Life is already Simpler.

Forgive Me...

I'll give you something to forgive Me for.

It's Genetic...

I'm related to Ronald Fucking-Mc-Donald.

For Years...

I didn't push You away.

Even when you did it to Me.

For Years.

No Good...

Don't tell Me you think I had it Good.

You Did Me Wrong...

I've decided not to miss out anymore.

You can think what you like.

You're the one who did Me wrong.

Not Me...

And I'm Not the ugliest chick you ever fucked...

Annissa and Fleur were.

Mate...

You have a root lined up for Friday?

Possibly two?

Good.

Stay with them.

Treat them like shit instead of Me.

You don't appreciate anything you've had.

Including Me and the kids.

You've blown your last chance.

Mate.

He had a dog called Mate.

Says Everything...

Tonight I don't know where you are.

And I don't care.

Wish List...

rn_buffoon

World Famous Writer.

Where I Am...

Back to Before.

Philosophers...

We have a lot in our minds.

Not Luca...

My name's Not Luca.

Man...

How can Man suck so Bad and so Much when he can't even reach his own PeePee?

The Seventeen Year Itch...

I'm suffering from...

The Seventeen Year Itch.

Mental Abuse...

Mental Abuse.

It's not Just words.

That's A Lie...

I tell the Truth 99% of the time.

Water War...

I just heard on the radio that a 66 year old Grandfather was kicked and bashed to death in his front garden by a 36 year old man.

He had been watering his lawn. And there are strict water restrictions in place.

The Water War has begun.

I hate being right.

I'm Scared...

That I won't get a Chance to regret This.

Tonight...

I'll wear his jumper to bed for the last time.

Somewhere Else...

I'd rather be Somewhere Else.

These Days...

I've been touching Myself with fingers that wish they were Yours.

The Jingle Ball...

A great name for a Nudist's Christmas party.

How I Wish To Be Remembered...

A Modern-Day Descartes.

The Cycle...

Thank Fuck I never had a daughter.

The Cycle ends with Me.

She'll never have to put up with an Arse like him.

Running With Knifes (As Opposed To Scissors)...

I'm putting the knives away.

That's how much I care.

When It Counts...

When it counts I'm there.

When it Counts I don't judge You.

When it counts I Stand by you.

I've Stood by.

The Difference...

I don't masterbate.

I fuck Myself.

There's a differance.

Only I...

Only I know what I have done

Quote Of The Day...

I give the same kind of head whether I'm wearing lipstick or not.

The Plan...

The Plan...

...is not to deviate from The Plan.

The Look...

Twelve year old boy, you say?

Because that's the Exact look I was trying to achieve.

By The Way...

People tell Me all the time I'm Better than You.

The Names Friends Call You...

Pete...Rupert...Rick...

Not even close!

Unisexual...

I've decided.

I'm a Unisexual.

If He Was Me...

If He was Me...

...He would've been home by now.

Forrest Gimp...

In the tradition of Forrest Gimp...

Like is like a 69er.

You should only give as good as you get.

Klinger...

I cling to You ...

because You're all I know.

Forgive Me But...

I wouldn't want to go on Pre-Teen Big Brother.

The Generation Gap...

First there was the War babies.

Then the Baby Boomers. Then the Flower Children.

Then Generation X spawned Generation Why Me...

The Answer To Everything...

He's just got to stop believing that I'm ugly.

The Sixth Sense...

My Sixth Sense tells Me...

I say mean things.

Goodness...

Is it an act of godness; or goodness?

god...

god Was a scientist.

Available For Parties...

Only a Buffoon would wear a t-shirt that says Available For Parties.

To a Wake.

(True Story)

About Me...

Can Talk.

Dinner Invitation...

Dinner offer reduced to Cheese on Toast.

Same conditions apply.

Fuck I'm Good...

Just call Me Fig.

The Anti-Climax...

Farting whilst popping a zit.