Give Me A Job...

I am thirty two years old, have a university degree and yet can't get a job stacking supermarket shelves. I have finished breeding and believe that I am strong, honest and reliable.

Please give me a job.

Anyone?

No Such Luck...

I had rather hoped that the object that rubbed against my lips last night was nothing more than cigarette butt.

No such luck.

There was a dead cockroach in my beer.

I'd Stop What I'm Doing...

If my Hubby would have sex with me.

Right Now.

Open Letter To Cockroaches...

To all the cockroaches in the world

I just can't let you live.

rn_buffoon

I Have Discovered...

The Missing Link.

And his name is...Golden Shower Boy.

A Little Lesson In Theology...

There is no god.

A god would eat Cancer for breakfast.

And I'm not talking about seafood.

My Mate Macca...

I can tell you all my secrets Macca.

You were there when most of my secrets happened.

Sad...But True

I couldn't throw a crayfish in a lobster pot.

December Twenty-third Two Thousand and Five...

Happy New Christmas!

A Little Bit About Me...

I'm the stoned chick with an innertube called Bill Oddie who offered Gemnastics a threesome because she reminds me of my Hubby's ex -and now she's the ninety-sixth visitor to my blog.

Perfect Match...

We are perfect for each other.

I'm needy and he needs someone to look after him.

The Text Of The Year...

People who live in glass onions shouldn't throw stones.

Suffria...Suffria...Suffria...

The words I used when I tried to smother my sister with her pillow.

Lucky me...

Luckily for me my alcoholism overrides my agoraphobia.

Otherwise I'd never make it to the pub at all.

Havoc...

All this bong-smoking...

It's playing havoc with my pleurisy.

Just For The Record...

I can walk out that door whenever the fuck I feel like it.

Three Things...

What do John Howard, broccoli and red cordial have in common?

They are the last three things my Hubby and I have had a fight about.

I'm So Post-Modern...

...I smoked a pen.

...I drink alchohol while I meditate.

...I plucked my own Brazilian.

Three Wishes...

I wish I could be the person that I am- when He's not around- that I am all of the time; as well as when I'm with him.

I wish He was as nice to me as he is to the strangers that he meets.

I wish for three more wishes.

Fuck Off...

I prefer my own company