Deep Fred Pork Plums...

We ordered Chinese.

Hubby wrote down the order.

I asked for Deep Fried Plum Pork.

He wrote Deep Fred Pork Plums.

Fuck I laughed...

Because I Do...

You don't have to like me Hubby.

Because I do.

Illogical Thinking...

It hurts to breathe.

I'll have a smoke.

Multi Tasking...

Apparently only women can do it.

Much like childbirth.

Finally...

I'm becoming Myself

Typical Twink...

Typical old Twinkle Toes.

Causes a stir then pisses off.

Bad Poetry...

I couldn't see the forest

'cos the trees were in my way

And it wasn't 'til I nearly left

That I knew that I would stay.

For Fork's Sake...

The cutlery drawer is stuck shut...

I have people coming for dinner...

A fork! A fork! My kitchen for a fork!

Why Why Why...

Why don't relatives eat and run?

How Long For..?

Indefinitely. Probably.

A Piece Of Piss...

Giving up smoking is a piece of piss.

For the first twenty minutes...

Me Myself Eye...

For those of you who don't know-

My other(bigger better badder) blog can be found at rnbuffoon.blogspot.com

My Day So Far...

I've made the beds and I'm fucking bored.

Phone-a-phobe...

My Hubby is a Phone-a-phobe.

He won't even ring for pizza.

Whoops...

I spat on the ground...

And the dog ate my Pleurisy.

Useless Fact #793...

I'm wearing a too-small jumper that used to belong to my Eldest Son.

Apparently I'm the same size as a twelve-year-old boy.

If I Should Die...

If I should die before I wake...

at least I'll be asleep and will never know.

Tastes like shit...

If it tastes like shit...don't eat it.

Egg...

How pathetic would you feel if you got caught shop-lifting an egg?

Big Brother...

Don't judge Big Brother contestants.

For some of them this is probably the first group of friends they've ever had.