P.S For My Hubby...

You are so Not cute.

The News Is Good...

Apparently I suck.

At giving head.

In The Hot Seat...

There's Nothing comforting about a warm toilet seat in the morning; especially when you live in a house with three boys...

Fuck-Up...

Don't you think I heard you when you first called me a Fuck-Up?

I don't need to hear it Eleven fucking times.

Great Advice For Toddlers...

Next time...

...don't wait until you're about to shit your pants.

Guess What...

You're the one who can be replaced.

The Point Is...

What's the .

Wrong Opinion...

No one ever asked you for your wrong opinion.

Round #1287...

We made up on Sunday...

It's over 'til Round #1287.

New Goals...

One beer.

One cone.

One ciggie.

Per day.

Why give up those addictions?

I've Decided...

To give my Hubby beautiful dinners for a week...

...and a head job every night.

Happy 35th Joshua

Love Buffoon x

Floaties...

I took a sip of my little Son's drink...

...and then I saw the Floaties.

The Text Buffoon Wrote...

I'll pick you up 'cos I kno how much you hate relying on anyone but your Dog Wife- and I'm going fishing on Sat and I don't give a fuck what you say.

Please Stop Trying...

Fuck me as hard as you like...

...but please Please stop trying to stab me in the arse with that penis.

Piece Of Piss...

I don't even want to be near you.

You piece of piss.

Bite Me...

You won't bite...

...because it's True.

Right Now...

I want you to leave.

I'd give anything just to see that.

And Yet...

And yet I can't rely on You for Anything.

They Know...

My children will forgive me.

They know who I am.

Still A Fuckwit...

There's no audience to see...

...but You're still a fuckwit.