Deep Fred Pork Plums...

We ordered Chinese.

Hubby wrote down the order.

I asked for Deep Fried Plum Pork.

He wrote Deep Fred Pork Plums.

Fuck I laughed...

Because I Do...

You don't have to like me Hubby.

Because I do.

Illogical Thinking...

It hurts to breathe.

I'll have a smoke.

Multi Tasking...

Apparently only women can do it.

Much like childbirth.

Finally...

I'm becoming Myself

Typical Twink...

Typical old Twinkle Toes.

Causes a stir then pisses off.

Bad Poetry...

I couldn't see the forest

'cos the trees were in my way

And it wasn't 'til I nearly left

That I knew that I would stay.

For Fork's Sake...

The cutlery drawer is stuck shut...

I have people coming for dinner...

A fork! A fork! My kitchen for a fork!

Why Why Why...

Why don't relatives eat and run?

How Long For..?

Indefinitely. Probably.

A Piece Of Piss...

Giving up smoking is a piece of piss.

For the first twenty minutes...