Good Fucking Question...

If drugs are so bad for you then why do they feel so fucking good?

Go Figure...

I'm a god damn Virgo and I live in a pig-sty.

Better On Paper...

I look...better on paper.

The Big Question...

Who did the dinosaurs pray to?

You Love Bum Sex...

Things Not to write on the shower wall with foam alphabet letters- especially if your hubby isn't planning on showering that night- but your teenage son is...

You Love Bum Sex.

At least he saw the funny side of it...

Tell Me Why...

Tell me Why I don't like Mondays being played on a Thursday?

Cum Ova...

Cum Ova.

That's how the trouble begins...

Things Not To Say To Butchers # 292...

I'll have a piece of your best gib.

Cos I like it.

Simple Creature...

I'm a simpler creature than you.

Don't try to fix me.

You're the one who's broken...

Get Over It...

The truth is that I cut it.

And you don't.

So get over it.

Get It???

Does fungus get it?

Excuses Excuses...

Don't use me as your excuse.

I don't use you for mine.

Shinjuries...

Shinjuries...injuries sustained to the shins

Hormotional

Hormotional...an emotional condition brought on by one's one hormones

Scared Cake...

We were at the Park...

Me: There's lot of birds around here, huh?

My Little Son: Don't say that to my cake- you'll make it scared.

Not Dead Yet...

I've been dying now for 11060 days.

Dennis The Penis...

Dennis the Penis.

Who says I don't rhyme?

What Gets Me Off...

It gets me off getting you off.

No No No...

I haven't said No to anybody today.

No wonder I feel like I've been fucked up the arse twice.

No Choice...

You shouldn't feel like you've got any other choice but to be here either.